On Women’s Day, we honour the strength and resilience of women in all walks of life. In this article, we delve into the poignant and deeply personal journey of mothers who have faced the unimaginable: the loss of a child.

The songwriter and renowned musical icon Candy Tsamandebele, AKA Aunt Candy, is a woman who has experienced such loss in the form of her late son, Phetole Lesley Mokwena. She received the unfortunate news of his passing after signing a partnership contract with Sony Music Africa, and the news struck her hard. Despite the event taking place over a decade ago, his loss is understandably still felt by her and will likely be something she’ll need to work through forever onwards.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Grief

Grief manifests itself in various forms, but it is commonly agreed that five stages of grief are endured. The implications of some can be truly harrowing.

1. Denial – Disbelief is no uncommon feeling when struck with loss. It’s a surreal feeling, one that might not register at first, but it’s a precursor for something worse when it boils over.
2. Anger – For a parent to lose a child is a cruel thing. Anger is something we can become lost in, and sadly it isn’t something that many try to empathise with despite it being a normal reaction to loss.
3. Bargaining – Regret can be perceived as the want to take back past actions, and if we’ve been robbed of a life, we’ll cling to any hope we can that we might get
   it back. We may make unfulfillable deals which can eat away at our expectations of the world and ourselves.
4. Depression – The sadness felt in the wake of loss can be crippling. We isolate ourselves from the world to distance ourselves from any further hurt, something that can hurt us even more when we’re deprived of what can help us.
5. Acceptance – Acceptance is not the same as putting pain behind us. Instead, we can find tolerance for the pain and embrace that despite things never being the same, we can at least continue our lives knowing that we have grown.

These stages might not be felt in any particular order as we all register grief differently. None of these are easy to overcome, but by tackling them one at a time, it is possible to reach that final stage of acceptance.

Finding Solace in Sisterhood

Losing a child is one of the hardest things somebody can endure. Without the right help, it can drain us from any resolve.

This is why reaching out to fellow women, people who might understand and appreciate the hurt felt during such a time. A mother’s grief is not something easily understood so confiding in those who may empathise with the feelings at play is the sure-fire way to make progress despite the long journey ahead.

Transforming Grief into Meaningful Legacies

A significant part of the healing process is the acceptance of traumatic events. Coming to grips with such an event can be a daunting task, but it can be achieved through seemingly small acts.

Keeping a memento is an age-old tradition of keeping one’s memory close at heart. It can be an object of any nature, ideally something small enough to carry on one’s person that can remind a mourning parent of their child in trying times.

Alternatively, keeping a journal in which you write to your late child effectively maintains their presence in your life through interactive means.

The Power of Self-Care

Looking after ourselves in times of crisis is essential to maintain a strong spirit. It can be the very thing that makes returning from a dark place less challenging and is integral to recovery. There are many different ways to implement this self-care into daily life, from gratitude for what we have to get a good night’s rest, there is no step more important than allowing others to help bring you back to comfort.

As we’ve previously mentioned, staying in contact with the outside world and with people who can understand the trials of losing a child—friends, family, or even strangers who have also suffered such a tragedy. Women have made astounding progress in finding the help they need with the existence of support groups and far-reaching testimonials. It cannot be stated enough how important these support systems have been as it has given women thoughts to dwell on that are neither stigmatised nor their own possibly negative thoughts.

If you’re going through a difficult time and need guidance on properly caring for yourself, read here.

Advocacy and Awareness for Bereaved Mothers

Lastly, we’d like to acknowledge the ever-present stigma towards mothers who have lost their children, no matter how the loss may have occurred. Too often is the gaze of the untouched averted out of shame or misunderstanding, but it is times such as these where support should be offered, and empathy needs to be felt by the ailing.

If you or anyone you need is or might be struggling, don’t hesitate to find help, and we wish you well.

As a company defined by excellence, we take pride in our tombstone craftsmanship, ensuring they are built with love, using only the best-polished granite stones from our factory.

Call us today to discuss your loved one’s burial requirements. Thabaletsi Tombstones is your preferred manufacturer of quality memorial headstones.

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